“I would like to mean something for someone else.”

9 October 2026

Who are you and what do you do?

I am Oscar de Boer, 33 years old. I grew up in Abcoude and have been living in Amsterdam for some time now, at Olympiaplein. I love this neighborhood because the city feels close, but the hustle and bustle of the center remains at a distance. I am a captain at KLM. I had a love for flying since I was a child, and now I have been doing it for my job for ten years. My work has changed. As a copilot, I was mainly focused on the aircraft and the technology; as a captain, I am more concerned with the people. It’s now about teamwork, taking responsibility, giving feedback, and making decisions under time pressure. I find this human aspect fascinating, as giving feedback to colleagues used to be quite nerve-wracking for me. I no longer shy away from it; I try to do the right thing and learn from the experiences. For me, personal growth lies in continually challenging myself a little bit.

What makes you happy?

I can become very happy from small things. Eating together with friends or family. An unexpected message. A bird flying by. Music that comes at just the right moment. Or when I take care of my plants. And when the sun shines.

My volunteer work at Voor Elkaar in Zuid connects me with people in my neighborhood. A few years ago, I found a flyer in the mailbox and decided to get in touch. I do small jobs for my neighbors. With a visually impaired man, I drive to the dunes to walk. The man can no longer drive himself, but enjoys the scents, sounds, and the sea air all the more. I help a neighbor with her computer and do odd jobs in someone else’s house. Although these are all practical tasks, social contact is of course a part of it. This way, I can make a difference, making someone else’s life a little easier or more pleasant.

To whom did you last give a compliment?

I recently gave my mother a compliment. I told her that I admire how she is always there for others, unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. Compliments were not easily given in our home when I was growing up. Not because there wasn’t love, but because everything was fine. My mother needed a moment to take it in. It became a small, cherished moment between us.

From whom did you last receive a compliment?

My friend recently gave me a compliment. He said that I am good at listening and making people feel at ease. I recognized myself in what he said. Still, I sometimes find it difficult to receive compliments. I am trying to learn to accept a compliment without downplaying it.

What is your favorite place in Amsterdam?

The Vondelpark, because it is a quiet place in the middle of a busy city. I love the large trees and open fields, the stork nests, the cafés and terraces, but especially the dogs.

There is a small field on the south side that I like to visit. Here, dogs are allowed to roam free, and occasionally one comes over with a stick in its mouth. I can throw it away. We used to have a dog at home, and I would like to have one, although it is not feasible with my job as a pilot right now.

What is the most beautiful or important lesson you have learned in your life?

That you must be able to and allowed to be yourself, regardless of societal norms or the expectations of others. I call it ‘authenticity over conformity’. For me, this is connected to my coming out and the moment I decided to truly choose for myself. As a child, I felt that I deviated from the norm. Eventually, I realized that the judgment of others does not have to determine how I view myself. I have the impression that younger generations deal with this more freely, although there is still a way to go.

Text: Dasha from Amsterdam

Photo: Oscar de Boer