On the couch with… Joke Bos

In this section, Amsterdammers talk about how they make an impact and what makes them happy. This time it’s Joke Bos’s turn, manager at Amsterdam Meeting Center de Pijp. “Not listening to your fear and instead doing things you are afraid of gives you so much more – you gain experience and often make connections in return.”

What do you do in your daily life?

“My time is mostly spent on hard work. I work at the Amsterdam Meeting Center de Pijp where I support people with dementia and their partners. In my free time, I enjoy reading, walking, and dancing. I have been working with people with dementia for over 40 years, and I have developed my own ‘Joke’ style, such as: focusing on people’s talents and things they still know and can do. This gives them confidence and stability in a complex time. In collaboration with DemenTalent, we always strive to keep people socially active for as long as possible, for example, by engaging in suitable volunteer work. This helps them feel better and maintain more social interactions. I also do a lot with movement, music, and expression; body language is a way of communicating that people (re)cognize and respond to immediately, without having to think about it. Quality of life is central to me.”

What makes you happy?

“I love nature, I am someone who can see well and especially smell. I find the scents that exist in nature delightful, especially now with the blossom. I also go outside with the blood moon. I believe in rituals, they are important in life. I manage to enjoy something every day. Putting on a crown on King’s Day while cycling, studying a herd of restless sheep – delightful!”

How do you make an impact in the city?

“Maintaining contact with people by calling and emailing, including politicians, funders, GPs, and case managers. I keep them informed about the experiences within our community center and provide feedback if I disagree with something happening. This way, the lines of communication stay short. For example, if I see people are interested in painting, I send an email to the case managers and we start a new creative group to meet this need. People don’t want to go to day care, but they do want to go to a community center.”

Who was the last person you gave a compliment to?

“Oh no, I often give compliments to our visitors. Recently, I gave a compliment to someone who comes here a lot. He is very kind, likes to be helpful, and does a lot in our garden. He has been calling me ‘Jokie’ from the beginning, that’s what my father used to call me, so I was initially startled, but he is also a bit like a father. His daughter lives abroad and he misses her terribly, but then I become a substitute daughter. So I told him: I like you as a father.”

What is your favorite place in Amsterdam?

“Cafe Pekelhaaring on Van Woustraat. I miss it a lot now that it has been closed for months. Mariska, my colleague, and I used to go there for drinks on Friday afternoons, after work. They know us so well there that when we walk in, our drinks are already waiting for us. It’s our brainstorming café – this is where we come up with all sorts of ideas on how to organize our work. Besides, I walk a lot in Noord, rural Noord I find very pleasant. The Vogelmeerpolder is stunning!”

What is the most important lesson you have learned in your life?

“The most important lesson for me is: not to give up too quickly, to not quit and say or think that you can’t do it. Even if you are extremely nervous. Giving lectures to students terrified me – but well, I still do it because knowledge transfer is important. This lesson also applies when you are afraid of losing someone. In my work, I encounter many caregivers who are afraid of impending loss. And then they don’t share their grief with their loved one, which is precisely so important, because this person can comfort you. Not listening to your fear and doing things you are afraid of actually gives you so much more – you gain experience and often get connection in return. Push the boundaries and look at the other side, it is unknown territory where a lot of new things await you.”Text: Dasha from AmsterdamPhoto: Huub Zeeman

Are you interested in working with people with dementia?

They are still looking for volunteers at Amsterdam Meeting Center de Pijp. For example, coach people with early-stage dementia.View the job here.