Elly (97): “Her visit is a bright spot in my week”

Hella (58) and Elly (97) have been connected for two years. Every Monday morning, Hella shows up at the doorstep, and for over an hour and a half, the duo chats about everything. They are both very enthusiastic about this. Hella finds it fulfilling, and Elly is more than happy with the company. One of her daughters lives in Israel and the other in California, along with her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Her husband and friends are no longer around.The coffee is ready on the counter as I join Elly and her volunteer Friendly Home Visit Hella (via Humanitas). It takes some time before Elly carefully brings the cups one by one, step by step, to the table. Offering help is strictly forbidden, as I had been told beforehand. Elly asks me to sit in the light so she can see my face better. Both her sight and her hearing are not very good anymore. She calls them ‘inconveniences’.Never!Elly still lives on her own. She becomes rebellious when her doctor once again advises her to move to a nursing home. “Never!” she says firmly. Elly wants to continue doing as much as possible by herself. She has her patterns and rituals, and everything in her house has a designated place. That’s why things are still going very well at home. She does have some ladies who help her put on her socks, put drops in her eyes, shower, do the groceries, and keep the house clean. But there isn’t really time for a chat. And that’s exactly why she is so happy with Hella. “Her visits are a bright spot in my week.”

For a year now, Elly hasn’t been outside. Due to her poor eyesight and the busy city traffic, she simply doesn’t dare to anymore. “She is quite housebound,” says Hella. “When I encourage her to go out together, she gets upset. I shouldn’t do that to her anymore.”There was an instant connectionBoth light up when I ask how the first meeting was. “There was an instant connection,” they both say at the same time. Hella was surprised by how sharp Elly still is and how well she is still informed about what is happening in the world. She reads the newspaper with a device that enlarges the letters. Hella was also impressed by Elly’s modern perspective on things, her sense of humor, and her boundless positivity. “I actually always look forward to going there.”

Although they have a lot of fun together, they also discuss more serious topics. “Elly thinks life has been good enough. Not that she is gloomy, not at all. But she’s kind of done with it.” Hella understands that and always responds, “Just don’t die while I’m on vacation!” And once again, they burst into laughter together.Interview:Humanitas
Photos: Jackie Mulder

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