“Contact creates space”

Photo: Jackie Mulder

Interview with Paloma Stet Caballos and Philip Peper.

Paloma (22) lives in Leiden, works at Hanos in Utrecht, and is part-time studying management at Hogeschool Rotterdam. She volunteers in Amsterdam, being a companion to Philip Peper, who lost his wife last year.

Why did you choose this volunteer work?“Two years ago, I wanted to do volunteer work in my free time. On the website of the senior&student foundation, I saw the call from Emilie, Philip’s wife, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s. That appealed to me because my grandmother was then suffering from dementia. I saw in my grandfather how important it is to have people around you who support you. So, I wanted to do that for Emilie and Philip.”Did you have doubts before you started this volunteer work?“I found it quite exciting, who will you meet? Will you get along? The website gave me a good feeling. I had also read interviews with other students beforehand and watched videos.”How did the first contact with Emilie and Philip go?“At the first contact, it became apparent that Emilie could no longer speak. Nevertheless, it went quite smoothly. Philip asked if I wanted to take a walk with Emilie. She immediately came along with me, which was remarkable. I thought Philip was very loving towards her.”How did it continue?“Emilie passed away after only a few months. I attended the cremation, which was very beautiful, very light, with lots of flowers. It was very natural for me to stay in touch with Philip.”How often do you see each other and what do you do?“We see each other once a week or once every two weeks. It depends on when I am off. During the lockdown, we didn’t see each other for a while. Sometimes we go to a museum, other times we go cycling, or we visit the market. Philip has a car, so we go on all sorts of outings.”

What do you find most beautiful about this contact?
“Last Christmas, I invited Philip to my parents’ house. My grandfather was also there. It was the first Christmas without their wives for both of them. That was a beautiful moment.”

What do you gain from this contact?
“I do different things because Philip comes up with things he wants to do. You step out of your own world. For me, such an outing is just as enjoyable as it is for him.”Philip Peper (83) lives in the Center of Amsterdam. Until his retirement, he worked as a teacher at the Graphic Lyceum, later the Media College. He was married to Emilie for 57 years, and they were together for 62 years when she passed away in 2019 due to Alzheimer’s.

How did you get in touch with Paloma?“My wife Emilie had Alzheimer, and I cared for her for years. The Alzheimer consultant recommended the Senior & Student foundation to me. Paloma got along well with my wife and visited us every week. That gave me some free time. Sometimes the three of us would do something together. Paloma was always a new face for my wife.”How did it go further?“After Emilie’s death, Paloma and I continued to stay in touch. She has become a good friend.”

“Eating shrimp croquettes at Loetje, we also love that.”

Buddies at Senior & Student Foundation

At the senior&student foundation, you will be matched as a volunteer with a senior for support and companionship. You choose a senior who matches your interests and background. Together, you will engage in fun activities such as walking, playing games, and helping with computer tasks. We guide you through coaching sessions on how to safely interact with your senior during the pandemic. Together, we fight against the loneliness virus!Want to become a buddy? Check out [link].www.vca.nu/gappie