Sing together: “Little moments of happiness”

Frank de Klerk (59) didn’t want to go to the gym after his early retirement. Instead, he became a swimming instructor for elderly people with dementia. He is now indispensable as an all-round volunteer at Nursing Home Het Schouw. The highlight is singing together on Wednesday afternoons. “I am slowly learning that it is quite enjoyable to combine reason and emotion.”In the common area at IJdoornlaan, about fifteen residents are sitting in a circle this afternoon. Frank has just started singing “Aan de Amsterdamse grachten.” One sings along enthusiastically, with shining eyes. Another is lost in thought, occasionally picking up a word. Frank goes around the circle, making contact while singing: a gesture, a glance. “Contact and recognition, that’s what it’s all about. Sometimes I see someone light up for a moment while singing, maybe just a few seconds. Those moments of happiness are so important. And they make me happy too.”

Songs with a story

Frank doesn’t consider himself a great singer. Nevertheless, he manages to strike a chord with the songs he performs here: “They are all songs with a story, lyrics that you can experience together. Take ‘On a beautiful Whit Monday’ by Annie MG Schmidt. That brings back memories.” He knows all the lyrics of Wim Sonneveld by heart: “I used to regularly drive with my grandma to Zeeland. She had the annoying habit of backseat driving, like ‘watch out Frank, be careful.’ But when I put on a Wim Sonneveld cassette, that provided a lot of distraction. Then she wouldn’t pay attention to the road.”

“I am making a switch”

In his working life, Frank was a pension specialist at a bank. A man who mainly worked with his rational mind. “That’s how we were raised in my time: make sure you do well in school, get a job for life. And leave your emotions at home, they are private. Now I am slowly learning that it’s quite nice to combine the two.” With his mind, Frank thinks about what he experiences in contact with the residents of Het Schouw. What do they respond well to, what makes them anxious or defensive? And he applies those insights with feeling. “When you get dementia, the world becomes scary: you can understand it less and less and everything goes too fast. So you try to build up a defense shield but it becomes more and more fragile.”

The button is on

I once tried to help a lady who had spilled her ice cream. But when I got close to her face, I saw that she found it very threatening. I then went to get some napkins and very carefully cleaned her fingers one by one. And she liked that.” Staying calm and keeping things light works well according to Frank. “When I come in here, a switch flips. Then I have a smile on my face. Then everything is easy. Because no one wants to deal with difficult situations.”

Shiny eyes

Meanwhile, Frank has put on [artist] the Havenzangers: “I met you for the first time, there by that waterside.” A lady whispers: “No, it was at dance school Bonel on Rozengracht. That’s where I first met my husband. We were married for more than fifty years.” Her eyes sparkle with a cherished memory.

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At Nursing Home Het Schouw, currently there arethese tasks open.Choose something that suits you.our online job boardYou will find 1001 possibilities.Or come by one of our consultations without any obligation.Text: Winnie van Heesch
Photo: Kitty de Jong